if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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