how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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