4 words: hood of his car
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
