...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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