Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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