Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I want you more than these girls want KFC
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
