i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
