Sry I called you an 8
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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