Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I deserve this hangover.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
