"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
