Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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