jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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