omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Who wears a wallet chain?!
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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