you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
