Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
