I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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