This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
