My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
