glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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