lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
