I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
