got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
