yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
