i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
