Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
