So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
