then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
