i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
