And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
