my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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