Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Can you bring me the toilet please
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
