You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
