I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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