but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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