So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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