That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
