i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
