Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
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