Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I don't deserve a penis
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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