The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
