I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
This is the high leading the old right now
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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