hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
