I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
