suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
