i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
he just fucked me for my cheese.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
