I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
