Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
