Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
