GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
