you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
