I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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